by Carolyn Forrester

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"Worthless Currency" (Praise)

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To praise someone is to flatter them. As a teacher, I used to praise my students, telling them "good job" for every little thing they did. On the surface this seemed desirable, but in practice it proved to be shallow manipulation. I was using praise to puff my students' fragile egos up, which sadly, a tiny pin prick of blame could easily deflate. My empty words lacked a part of myself, and like hot air, they were fleeting. To really be heard I needed to ground my statements with my own essence. These days I use the word "I" to make what is said personal, making me a vested part in the relationship. When I say "I love what you've written", it can't be challenged or disbelieved because I've been vulnerable enough to inject personal substance. I frame the words as my own truth. "I love" has a soulful ring to it. There's my own truth in those words, and that's music to the ears.

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