by Ian Alexander

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Faithless Soul Lost Unknowingly Being Protected

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I've been in a battle of depression and loneliness for the past 14 years. I turned my back on God when I was 17 because I needed answers I couldn't find. I said I would never go back and I thought it was impossible to believe again. Then at 21 I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. My reality was confusing and frustrating. I thought I wasn't sick but that people were doing bad things to me for a reason I had no knowledge about. I struggled to keep my sanity because I was believing things that could not be possible. No one believed me so I just went along and the last 3 years I've been content with what I was given. Then one day at the peak of my confusion and delusional reality God spoke to me and said you are not being attacked without reason. He told me it was from Him and I immediately refused to accept the delusion. I felt His power all around me and He told me I was not hearing and seeing real people but delusions sent to me to restore my faith. I was inspired to call it the Call of faith restored. Last month I put my mother through stress and heartache for selfish reasons and at the peak of the drama I gave up my delusional thinking to give my mother relief not fully but until God confirmed it was a delusion and restored my faith. I had no idea it was from God but its not over yet and this is just the beginning of my salvation that God promised me. I'm in awe and disbelief that God would want me back because I turned my back and swore to never believe again but He cared anyway and I am still trying to do what He meant for me to do.

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