by Jasper

Artwork Description

Brain Repair

65.0 x 88.0 cm

This painting reflects the journey of a once-loving person whose capacity for love was taken away already and even when you were a little sweet and innocent child. Someone who was untrue, selfish, and could not be loving filled a child`s mind with fear, inflicting harm out of envy, which led the child to believe that humans are evil and unkind. Consequently, the absence of love made it challenging for the child and for the child`s future to regain their happy and loving nature. Restoring love and happiness to their brain and soul is difficult and requires enormous effort and can span up to 10 years, requiring bravery to confront their fears. And with the conviction that people are evil, that these not-good people have given you in your deepest mind in your childhood, you find out throughout your life that it is actually true as well. I created this painting to express the inner anguish I carry. It portrays the visage of an African tribal person, representing their humanity, freedom, simplicity, and serene nature, making them authentic, composed, and tolerant beings. However, from the head's brain, protrude thick, pointed objects that symbolize the turmoil caused by the fear inflicted on me by evil people during my childhood. This fear has deeply impacted my life, making it challenging to cope. The depiction includes eyes in red with tear-like dots beneath, giving the impression of crying, as I endure immense suffering and find life exceedingly difficult. The lines and dots around the eyes accentuate these emotions, because when I encounter a woman I feel attracted to, I get extremely anxious and only look at her, anxious about her potential anger and rejection if I contact her. This fear pervades my entire being, a belief rooted in my childhood experiences when my father publicly yelled at me. Through my art as the dear person I am, I aim to honestly convey the struggle I face, the turmoil within, and the journey toward healing and self-discovery. I have always felt like something was wrong because I never received support, love, or honesty from anyone. It wasn't until almost 45 years later that I learned the real reason behind this mistreatment. The man who caused my pain wanted to make it difficult for me to have relationships with women, because all men are solely driven by their desire to be with women, and it is their ultimate purpose in life. However, many men are not genuine; they carry their own inner pain and are power-hungry fools, and have got powerful jobs, they can have worked hard and achieved success, wealth, and fame and have amazing cars, tattoos, houses, etc. to make you believe they are amazing, cool and fearless with the aim that they hope it will impress and attract beautiful women who will want to be with them and have sex with them, because frankly, they are afraid to contact the women and be rejected for feeling less powerful, minor and not good enough they are unkind, disliking others and embracing malevolence. They don't want others to have a better life than themselves, they want people not to be themselves but to be like them, to impose their ways of living onto others. For these men, their only sense of fulfillment comes from sex, and if this is not fulfilled leading them to lead empty and frustrated lives. This frustration breeds envy and evil intentions when they are not empathetic and loving.

Artwork Details

Medium: Painting Other

Genre: Expressionism