by Carolyn Forrester

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"All that Glitters is Not Gold" (Glorify)

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I've seen the glory and I've glorified. As a young woman I had a weakness for falling in love. A romantic filter distorted my vision. In our early years together, I placed my first husband on a pedestal, the projection of a glossy story line. In my love struck eyes "he had it all" and with a whirlwind of adoration he charmed me into believing that I had it all, too. I gave gifts, I wrote cards, I did sweet deeds; tokens of my worship, tokens that magnified his greatness. Sadly, I lost my sense of self in our mating dance. Romantic illusion blinded me to his mental illness, blinded me to problems in the relationship, and most importantly, it blinded me to my own needs and desires. I lived under the fallacy that this glorified partner of mine would meet all my wants if I simply kept pleasing him. I believed that he was my ticket to a great future. Over time cracks began to appear in this picture perfect vision of my husband. He changed from my savior into my tormentor, and I found myself living in a passive aggressive night mare. Gifts, sweet deeds and tokens of affection no longer cast a romantic spell on either of us. Still, even then, for several more years I held on to the hope he could change to match my earlier vision. Romance is seductive. It's glorifying first acts made my ego soar before the mirage faded away and I saw the ugliness of my reality. In the finale, I suffered real life consequences when I woke from my illusion...never again!

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